A Woman, The Baba, And Me: Take #2

Today is the 129th birth anniversary of Ludwig von Mises. This post is written in his honour.

This morning, I awoke at the crack of dawn and, after a wash and a change, decided to drop in on my old friend, Baba Pagal Nath Charsi, whose "Hashrum" is quite close to where we stay. He was seated on a bench in his garden, filling a mighty chillum with some green ganja that looked rather good. What was peculiar is that there was a woman there too, seated on a chair. I greeted them both and offered a light to the Baba when the chillum was ready. We both smoked; the woman abstained.


When the chillum was done, the Baba shouted "bhoonsa maal" in disgust - and threw a big plastic packet full of ganja over the wall.


"Dum mein koi dum hi nahin hai," he said.


I understood, for no buzz happened to me either. So I made my offering to the Baba. I said, "Baba, I bought some charas at Palolem yesterday. Here it is, for you. The man said it was "Malana Cream" - but they all say that, don't they? Anyway, let us hope it is at least charas."


This time, I made the chillum. But the Baba took one pull and threw my chillum over the wall! "Bombay Black," he said. "Boot polish mixed with it," he added. "Poisonous!" he screamed.


He then took the entire lump of charas I had presented him with, and threw it over the wall.


"How much did you pay for this shit?" asked the Baba.


"Five thousand," I said.


"I paid two thousand for that crappy ganja myself," roared the Baba. "So that's seven thousand rupees thrown away."


It was then that the woman entered our conversation.


"Look at yourself sometime, Baba. Your clothes are tattered and your footwear is shoddy - yet you spend a fortune on these substances. This is a waste of precious resources. Why don't you give up this life of intoxication and get back into the normal world?" she said.


She was a small woman, very prim and proper, her clothes were simple, and her voice was as soft as her words were harsh. I thought the Baba might get offended, but he just smiled at the accusation - and said, "Let me explain my actions to you, since you understand them not." He then proceeded to make a long speech, which I will attempt to reproduce accurately, below. The Baba said:


"All human action is purposive; directed towards the removal of felt uneasiness. So, when I wake up, I feel uneasy - and reach for a cigarette. The cigarette relives me somewhat, but a new uneasiness begins - at my rear end. So I rush to perform my daily ablutions, and that done - which is a sign of good health - and with my face, neck and ears washed in cold water, feeling fresh, I feel a new desire in my mind - the desire to smoke a mighty chillum. If the maal is good, all uneasiness ends - well, almost, for there is some dryness in the throat, for which I make myself a hot cup of tea. After that, I am ready to face the day. I have a small breakfast of kandha-pohe - peasant food that is cheap, nutritious and easy to digest. I bathe and change. I then smoke another chillum - and after that, I feel NEEDLESSNESS. I need nothing. No more smoke, no more tea, no more food - NOTHING. My mind is at peace. No "uneasiness" at all.


Then, my working day begins: reading, writing, meditating. At 2 pm I have a simple lunch of khichdi - peasant food again. Then I sleep for an hour. In the evening I don't work. I smoke a few chillums. Enjoy my garden. Relax with some music. And I also have some beer for the dry throat, and for a good night's sleep, for tea in the evening keeps me awake all night. I dine on zunkha-bhakri, peasant food that is great for the health, the wallet, and the important performance of the morning. Now, that is me, my needs, and my life. Where is the "waste" you speak of?"


The woman replied, soft voice; hard words: "Exactly, Baba. If you did not spend so much on the substances you abuse, you could eat better, dress better, live better. Your lifestyle is nothing but waste."


The Baba was nonplussed, and replied: "Values and pleasures are subjective. I hold good ganja and charas in high value - so I willingly pay a lot for them. As for the rest, it is all a question of preferring one thing and setting aside another. I don't value good clothes at all. My power does not emanate from what I wear - unlike the policeman. For me food has no value at all - except for nutrition and digestion. I set these values aside when I prefer what I prefer."


WOMAN: But look at the amount of money you waste. Just 10 minutes ago you threw away seven thousand rupees - which could have fed a poor family for two months. Isn't this criminal?"


BABA: What is actually criminal is the legislation banning my "substances" - as you call them. Without this legislation, these would be cheap and plentiful. Farmers would grow these and prosper. A huge number of people would gain - and we smokers would have money spare for other things, by which we would encourage other branches of industry. There would be far less poverty, far less crime, and zero police atrocities. Do not forget that we babas have been smoking these "substances" for millennia. I have been to Gangotri, to Kedarnath, to Haridwar and Rishikesh - and everywhere I have met babas complaining about the smoke they love so much, and which is so difficult to obtain today, because of this thoughtless piece of legislation.


WOMAN: But these substances must be harmful, which is why our Parliament has banned them.


BABA: Harmful? What utter nonsense! Babas are the hardiest people in India. They walk the "char dham yatra" in droves, smoking all the way, something no city-person can do. Not only that, babas are full of philosophical insights. These "substances," as you call them, harm neither the body nor the mind. Our ignorant Parliament has banned these while unleashing alcohol upon the people. Vijay Mallya, the booze merchant, sits proudly in this Parliament. And do look around in Goa at the small bars that open early every morning. Look at the alcoholics who rush there for their morning fix - and who collapse by noon. Nothing should be banned, of course - except, perhaps, evil literature. And our government schools and colleges are full of evil literature!


WOMAN: But if these substances are legal everyone will smoke them. Even the poor. How will anyone work?


BABA: The poorest labourers smoke ganja - and work. Observe sometime the lives of day labourers, rickshaw pullers and the like in our cities. Why not make their harsh lives better - by giving them a healthy and cheap high?


ME: Baba, pardon me for interrupting, but you sound like a praxeologist. What have you been reading lately?


BABA: Why, Chuck, I have been reading those excellent books you gave me. I have read Ludwig von Mises' Human Action three times already - and it took me months. It showed me the inner harmony of Man - as God has made him. We babas always look at the harmony of God's work, without realizing that God made Man too - as a creature who is destined to live in harmony with his fellowmen. Mises showed me the truth about our own inner nature, the harmony in our minds, in the laws by which we all think and act. Thank you for this book, Chuck.


ME: Well, today happens to be Ludwig von Mises' 129th birth anniversary. Wish we could smoke a good chillum in his honour.


BABA: No luck, my friend. Let us smoke some cigarettes instead, and I will make some tea for us all.


WOMAN: Baba, you have convinced me of the truths in your arguments, and the correctness of your way of life. I have some good friends in Manali. I will fly there tomorrow and return with the finest charas money can buy - for the three of us. For I too want to smoke these substances. And to learn about Liberty from the two of you.


The Baba and I were astounded at her change of mind and heart. But I had not been introduced to her as yet, so I told her I was Chuck and asked for her name. The predictable reply: "Prudence."


I laughed.


The Baba laughed too.


WOMAN: I hate my name. Baba, please give me a new name.


BABA: I give you the name "Passion" - for that is what has fired you today. Not passions of the flesh, but passion of the mind, and the passion for Liberty.


ME: Thank you both, for such a lovely morning. And a fitting tribute to the memory of that great philosopher of Liberty - Ludwig von Mises.


Having said that, I departed. I am now waiting for Ms Passion to return from Malana with some good smoke.


"Any day now. Any day now. I shall be released... " as the Dylan song goes.