The Corrupt "Politics" Of HDFC Bank

It was about 11:30am when I arrived at HDFC Bank, Pondicherry, in an auto-rickshaw with whom I had fixed a return fare of 200 rupees. On entering the bank, I went to the lady at one of the Customer Service Desks and told her my account number, so that she could let me know whether the 20k my friend was supposed to have put into this account had kicked in. Apparently, it had not - and my friend just phoned to say he will be doing the needful on Monday morning. And tomorrow is Sunday. The bank closes at 1pm on Saturdays.

At about 11:30am, the lady at the Customer Service Desk informed me that there were some 5000 odd rupees in my account. And we talked a bit about the currency and stock market collapses that were occurring all around the world, during which conversation I told her that "as long as Money & Banking are not honest, collapses will forever occur."


Now, just the other day, I had used a Withdrawal Slip to withdraw money from my account from this very branch, since both my cheque book as well as my ATM Card had been stolen. At that time, I had also applied for a new ATM Card as well as a new cheque book. And the young lad who handled my affairs that day was very much present today.


So I asked for a Withdrawal Slip by which I could withdraw the 5000 rupees in my account.


The bank REFUSED.


I asked to see the Manager - and I told this Manager some things about myself, and how this is a "Salary Account" from my days as Editor of The Economic Times in Nude Elly. I told him that his computer contained some secret information about me that could be used by him to verify my Identity - like my Date of Birth; like my residential address in Nude Elly; like my Mother's Name and so on. I said that I could verify all of these and more. But he INSISTED that he needs an "Identity Proof" - from our The State. 

I told him that anyone could furnish him with a false driver's license or with a false passport, even. Such identity proofs issued by our The State have NEVER been concrete proof of anyone's identity - ever. On the other hand, if his Customer could verify Personal Information, and, further, if his Signature tallied with the one in his records, there was nothing to worry about.


But this Manager INSISTED that he could NOT allow me to withdraw MY MONEY from MY ACCOUNT without an ID Proof issued by our The State.


So I asked to speak to his Boss - and he connected me on the phone with a Vice-President of HDFC Bank, who was also most unhelpful. He INSISTED on sticking to his silly bureaucratic rule. I called him a chamcha of Nandan Nilekani, in disgust. I also told him that India does NOT need the Nandan Nilekani Unique Identity Scheme, by which all billion of us will get our irises screened and our fingerprints scanned for State records. I told him that India needs All Property to be properly registered and recorded - and that, if this was done, his bank, which claims to be a "housing development finance bank," would be the first to benefit.


But the guy was a compleat moron.


I left in disgust - after telling him that all that had transpired would shortly be put up in the Public Domain on My Blog. I came directly back to this Internet outlet, but a fracas broke out between me and the auto-rickshaw driver, who insisted on his payment. Finally, it was decided that I would give him my bags, which were lying next to the sadhu - and we went there. However, there, things were sorted out by some of the Good Firemen from the Fire Station - and one of them paid him off. I rested the afternoon.


Some cops came by in a patrol vehicle and talked in Tamil with the sadhu - after which they offered him some food, which he accepted. I later told the sadhu that he had done something WRONG - for this food was paid for by TAX MONEY. I told him that if he should accept anything from policemen at all, it should be ganja, for his shawl said OM NAMOH SHIVAY in Tamil.


Now, getting back to this Unique Identity Card of Nandan Nilekani, let me say just one thing: and that is, "good government" is that in which The People, who are ALL businessmen, or employed by businessmen, are fully possessed of their Privacy as well as their secrets, which must include Business Secrets. Swiss Banks USED to be like that. 


Further, "good government" is that in which EVERYTHING about this government is in the open, and there are NO SECRETS at all about the government. The best example of such a government is the one administered by the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, in Medina, where he was always surrounded by 23 or more scribes, who carefully recorded each and everything he said or did.


The People must have their privacy as well as their secrets.


It is the government that must have no secrets at all.


Nandan Nilekani is taking our country in the wrong direction - and he has sonia gandhi, chacha manmohan s gandhi, the Union Home Ministry (which will keep these records) as well as HDFC Bank on his side.


And I am on The Other Side.


So, all you rockers out there, put on Mr. Jim Morrison REAL LOUD:

And Break On Through To The Other Side