Kids, Here Comes Your Rock-n-Roll SOUL!

Hi there all you beautiful rock-n-roll kids,


Sorry I've been away a few days - but I was placed under COERCIVE TORTURE - and it felt SO GOOD. I "felt just like Jesus' son," as in the Lou Reed song, and it was lovely to be really fighting for your freedoms rather that seminaring.


Reminded me of that Leonard Cohen song that I often sang on stage in my youth, in which one stanza goes:


I met Washington in Valley Forge,
A-shiverin' in the snow,
I said to him, "Why do men here suffer like they do?"
He said, "Men will suffer, men will fight,
"Even die for what is right,
"Even though they know they're only passing through."


Passing through,
Passing through,
Sometimes happy,
Sometimes blue,
Glad that I ran into you,
Tell the people,
That you saw me passing through.


Anyway, the blues are past. And I am happy again.


Here to teach you the lesson of the day: Your Rock-n-Roll SOUL!


What is SOUL? you all might ask. 


Well, it is the most beautiful metaphysical speculation of all, in all time. It has guided man along a moral path, and told him the pathway to Heaven, which is also metaphysical, for we don't know whether there is any soul, or whether there is any Heaven at all. But one thing we do know for sure is that: There is Hell on this Earth. Evil Rules.


What is the MEANING of Rock-n-Roll?


Well, it goes something like this:


Your metaphysical Rock-n-Roll Daddy "rocked" your metaphysical Rock-n-Roll Mummy one night, tenderly, gently, and for long. In the end, they both attained "climax" - and thundering, shuddering, spasmodic ecstasy overcome them both. This was their metaphysical "Jewel" that they found in their "Divine Coitus."


After the rocking was over, your Rock-n-Roll Daddy, "rolled" off - for he didn't want to be a burden on his lady.


And that is Rock-n-Roll!


Some months later, your Rock-n-Roll Mummy found her belly swelling - and was worried.


She went to a doctor, thinking maybe she had a tumour or something, and she told him:


Doctor, I'm in serious trouble.


And he said:


Goodness, gracious me!


He took out the tools of his trade, his stethoscope, and put it on her stomach - and heard a lub-dub sound emanating. 


That was your heart.


And he gave her the good news: Lady, you're pregnant! You're gonna have a baby!


She was overjoyed!


And that is how all you metaphysical Rock-n-Roll babies were born.


You are all the PHYSICAL JEWELS that came out of the Divine Coitus.


You were BORN TO ROCK-N-ROLL!


You were born to have babies of your own.


This is your ROCK-N-ROLL SOUL!


There is no "population problem."


That is the Philosophy of the Devil.


Now, how do you "GROW" to be able to Rock-n-Roll?


Well, all you little boys have to look at the "growth rate" of your peckers, and see that one day they become Mighty Phalluses. Your "personal growth rate" and not some evil, metaphysical "national economy growth rate."


And all you little girls must read Uncle Tom's Cabin, the first book ever written by a black woman in white-dominated America, which is about a little girl named Topsy - and "how Topsy just growed."


That's right!


Your "personal growth rate" is all that matters.


It's all about self-help, self-development, and self-growth.


That's the lesson for today, kids, with a little homework, too.


But no examinations.


"Jesus never fails" - because Jesus never sat any examination.


Nor should you.


The only examination is LIFE.


And I sure hope you succeed.


Tune in tomorrow, for more on Rock-n-Rolling.