My One & Only Bank Account: Take #2

While I was employed as an Editor of The Economic Times in Nude Elly, and this was between the years 1998 and 2002, one bright sunny day, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the good news that all of us had been given "salary accounts" in HDFC Bank, and that this very good bank was immediately installing an ATM in the basement of our office. What luck!


They gave us 2 "salary accounts": and mine bore the numbers 0271050024925 and 0271050024935. In the former account was transferred the "white money," and in the latter, the "black money" - which was a very good thing, and I was happy to cheat the TAX COLLECTOR. I simply DETEST tax collectors.


When I joined the company, at the express INVITATION of Swaminathan Aiyar, the HRD manager told me that my monthly salary was to be 30,000 rupees. But, throughout those long, long 5 years, I never ever saw 30,000 rupees in my accounts. In fact, over the years, the amount in my account kept DECREASING. In five years, I never received any RAISE IN PAY. Nor did I receive any PROMOTION.


It was just STAGNATION, some amount of "intellectual repression" - and progressive pauperisation.


After I walked away from this job, one day, the first account of mine, the "white money" account, simply VANISHED.


And I was left with this second account: 0271050024935.

Subsequently, one "zero" was added to this number, and my one and only bank account, a savings account with HDFC Bank, bears the number 00271050024935.

Then, there came some good news: About six months after I quit this job, I was informed that I had been honoured with the First Frederic Bastiat International Award for Journalism Promoting Liberty, that I had been selected as winner by an eminent jury, and that this prize was going to be presented to me in London, in the Royal Commonwealth Club, by Baroness Margaret Thatcher herself.


I was overjoyed. I went to London "to visit the Queen, and sure as Hell frightened all the little mice under her chair."


Anyway, there I was back in India, with 6 thousand US dollars in Traveller's Cheques, and a Baccarat crystal candlestick with my name engraved upon the base, and with Baroness Thatcher's fingerprints upon it.


This money was NOT put into my account - for it would have alerted the taxman. I spent all this money in my Mangalore Adventure, and I do think it was well worth it.


Today, things are grave indeed, and there is NO MONEY any more in this account.


I have received Official Communication from one Mr. Bernard Graham of Google UK, that they are transferring 500,000 "non-sterling" British Pounds into this one and only bank account of mine - and this Official Communication entered my GMail Inbox some two whole weeks ago.


And Google owns GMail.


And Google also owns Blogger - on which I publish The Antidote Blog: Austro-Libertarian Opinion From Indyeah.


And Google also owns Google Chrome - on which I work on the Internet.


And Google also owns Google Images - from which I obtain all the photographs and illustrations that grace this blog, like the HDFC Bank logo above.


And Google provides me all these services FREE - and I have forgotten to mention their Search Engine - while I provide Google with ZERO REVENUE, because there are NO ADVERTISEMENTS on my blog.


Now, as an ECONOMIST OF INTERNATIONAL REPUTE, I wonder as to how Google makes money at all - since they seem to be giving all their services to everyone completely free of cost.


I notice their clever ads on GMail - but I wonder whether the revenue from these ads is sufficient to pay for all these completely free services.


Anyway, it is their business, and they must "mind their own business," while I must mind mine.


It is surely MY BUSINESS to know where that 500,000 non-sterling British Pounds have gone.


So, will someone from Google UK please let me know - soon.


And will someone from HDFC Bank let me know, too -  soon.


My current pecuniary condition is what Mr. Micawber might call "extreme penury."


This morning, I had to mortgage my mobile phone to obtain 10 packets of cigarettes.


The owner of the hotel is a little upset that I owe him some 12,000 rupees, and this is NOT a big sum of money for a journalist like me, for Outlook Business just paid me 15,000 rupees for a 750 word column DEMOLISHING "corporate social responsibility." However, I would like to pay the hotel guy off, for it is a small hotel, and he needs to keep his revenues flowing.


Now, for some days now, a young employee of HDFC Bank has been befriending me on Beach Road every evening, where I always sit at a particular spot every evening and drink beer in public. His name is Arun Prakash Rao, and he is a sweet, young lad, who is now in the habit of sending me 20 or more loving SMSes every day, and every night, too. Though I have advised him to stop this. Just one SMS a day, I told him.


Yesterday, Arun informed me that he has found out that my bank account - the one and only one I have, whose details I have recounted above - has been CLOSED DOWN.


The hotel owner also seems to be of the same opinion. He said that my bank account has been closed down because I revealed its details to some "foreigner."


I told the hotel owner this is NONSENSE-UPON-STILTS - for the details of my bank account are clearly PRINTED on every cheque I issue. And I have my cheque book with me, with 50 unused cheques in it.


So, something FISHY seems to be going on, doesn't it?


"Smells like teen spirit."


And smells like "corruption."


If I may add, just for the RECORD, Macmillan India has NOT paid me any royalties for over 7 years now.


And they have published TWO books of mine - and I am informed that BOTH these books are BESTSELLERS.


What a completely fucked up CORRUPT COUNTRY we live in.


Corrupt politicians.


Corrupt bureaucrats.


Corrupt generals.


Corrupt policemen - who are "lawless," and not "Custodians of The Law" at all.


Corrupt judges.


Corrupt businessmen.


And now, perhaps, a CORRUPT PRIVATE BANK, too.


But I intend to get to the bottom of all this shit.


And I intend to GET EVEN.


As a wise man once advised me:

DON'T GET MAD - GET EVEN