This Morning, I Sang The Azaan - for all the Good People of Pondicherry: Take #2

The above photograph is of Bilal, the First Muezzin of Medina. Thanks to Google Images, of course.


How truly lovely indeed, for I would LOVE to visit Medina someday. And, I NEVER EVER want to go to Mecca.


The History of Islam begins with the Flight of The Prophet from Mecca to Medina, accompanied by his Followers, the first Muslims of The World. This EVENT is known as The Hejira. And there is a lovely engraving to be found in Arnold Toynbee's Illustrated Study of History of this EVENT, and it shows The Prophet astride his Camel, heading for Medina, and it also shows Jesus Christ in the Heavens, Blessing Him On His Journey.


I also read of what happened in Medina when these first Muslims of the world arrived there, alongwith their Prophet. It is reported that the good people of Medina rushed out to meet them, and to share with them whatever they had, and that The Prophet told all of them to "Fraternise In Allah."


But all these First Muslims REFUSED.


And ALL these First Muslims of the World told the good people of Medina:

Show us The Way to The Market, And We Will Make Our Way By Working.

And, so, I have always wanted to see the Fair City of Medina.


And, maybe, on this James Dean Holiday I am planning, we will do so.


This morning, I started off drinking a BIG BEER. I drank no tea at all.


And, for some strange, miraculous reason, I kept on and on singing the AZAAN, to anyone and everyone who would care to listen, and I do believe I sang it extremely well, and I even sang it to a Hindu Priest of a Ganesh Temple here, and he too was quite thunderstruck by my rendition of this song, which goes:

ALLAH HO AKBAR

But I sang this azaan with a slight difference, and I hope you will all UNDERSTAND this vital difference. Allah ho Akbar means "God Is Great."


And I sang this azaan in the following way:

ALLAH HO AKBAR

WHICH MEANS THE CHIEF MINISTER IS NOT AKBAR

WHICH MEANS THE CHIEF SECRETARY IS NOT AKBAR

WHICH MEANS THE INSPECTOR-GENERAL OF POLICE IS NOT AKBAR

WHICH MEANS THE SUPREME COURT IS NOT AKBAR

WHICH MEANS THE FUCKIN' HIGH COURT IS ALSO NOT AKBAR

AND SO, LET US ENSURE THAT ONLY ALLAH IS AKBAR

Many, many of the good, Hindu people here enjoyed my rendition of the azaan, sung as above, including a saintly sadhu, and including the Priest at the local Ganesh Temple.


I told them that NEVER AGAIN must any Hindu fight with a Muslim.


And I told them the reason for this - for my father hails from Khulna, now in Bangladesh, a city I have never seen, and I have never ever seen my "native place" only because of this fucked up Hindu-Muslim Rivalry, which led to the Partition of Bengal along communal lines, an event that became inevitable only because of that fucked up "cur" Lord Curzon, who partitioned Bengal in 1905, and then fled, with his Capital, to Nude Elly.


I told all these good Hindus and Muslims of Pondicherry, all of whom LOVED my powerful rendition of the azaan, with its crazy "Baba Pagal Nath Charsi" twist, that NEVER AGAIN must any Hindu fight with any Muslim, and that we should forever live together as brothers and sisters. 


And all these good people agreed, wholeheartedly, that too.


I told them that if EVER any BJP FUCKER comes here, his HEAD should be cut off right there on Beach Road, and that too, by the coconut seller.


I added that both the BJP as well as the Shiv Sena are hereby BANNED from the good and fair City of Pondicherry.


And, I noticed, that the good Hindu Priest of the Ganesh Temple immediately went to SHARPEN HIS KNIFE.


And I was all along drinking a BIG BEER while singing this lovely song, the azaan, with my crazy "Baba Pagal Nath Charsi" twist, and so I made it perfectly clear to them that I was NOT some Taliban Zealot, and that I was more like the Mughal Emperor Jehangir, who struck a Gold Coin with his handsome visage embossed upon it, holding aloft his "drinking cup." If you read Bamber Gascoigne's The Great Mughals, which you must, you will find that almost all their princes died of alcoholism. They were all very big drinkers - except for Babur, who was a very good charsi, like me. The only Taliban-type Muslim Zealot who ever ruled India was that stupid fucker Aurangzeb, and he ascended to the throne by cutting off the head of his very good brother, the Prince Dara Shikoh. Now, Dara Shikoh was an exceptional Indian Prince. He even went to Varanasi to study all the Hindu texts. If Dara had cut off Aurangzeb's head, Indian History would have been vastly different.


I intend to emulate Dara Shikoh. Who was a Great Mughal Prince.


And I did this today, right here in Pondicherry, by singing the azaan, over and over again, all over the City, with my crazy "Baba Pagal Nath Charsi" twist, and I am happy to report that everyone LOVED it, Hindus and Muslims alike.


So the BJP and the Shiv Sena are hereby BANNED from this Fair City of Pondicherry. And this is a City built by the French, a people who drink fine wine throughout the day and throughout the night, too, and in Pondicherry, the Muslim Chief Minister has declared, long ago, that too, that "no one can be forbidden from drinking alcohol in public in Pondicherry."


And so, The Taliban are BANNED here, too.